Expand Your World on H4 Visa

I think in my previous blogs I forgot to mention those women who come from a conservative background. Those you din't even wore western outfits back in India and what if they don't even know to speak English? So, I am going to address such women in this blog and also modern women who forgot or don't know how to socialize or expand their world.

All of such women needs to first accept the fact that they are in the US on H4 Visa and they are going to live in this country for as long as they have to or even forever. Now, how can you be happy in another country knowing that you are going to live there for rest of your  life? Well, you need to adapt their language, fashion, tradition and everything else that is possible. It doesn't mean that you forget yours. It is really fun to live an Indo-American culture! You can celebrate Halloween and Diwali both! And look at it this way, you are adding an extra festival, language, clothes etc to your life. Isn't this a joyous experience? The only reason, we get to adjust anywhere while we are working is because we go out everyday, meet and interact with people. Many of us restrict ourselves from that possibility if we can't work in the US and that is the biggest pull towards a depression. Here I am going to tell you how you can become more outgoing and explore opportunities around you.

Things you must do living on H4 Visa 

1. Learn the local language: 

Only if you are not good at speaking English. I would go a step further to learn 2nd language. I am learning Spanish as well. Even if some of us who speak good English, they are not used to the American accent. Fun way to learn or rather understand American accent is by watching English movies, TV shows. This way you not only lean their accent but also culture and dressing sense.

2. Explore the place you live in: 

I have seen most of the couples already do this but I want H4 folks to go a step ahead and explore each and every restaurant, beach, trail, park, grocery, drive and anything that you can think of. Go to every restaurant once in a while, shop at that China Town market nearby, try cocktails at all good bars. This will slowly make you feel like a localite and that is a happy thought. You will soon come to know many things you can do in this country.

3. Learn to Drive: 

Many Indian women who visit US on H4 visa, don't know how to drive at all. I would suggest you to learn driving back in India if possible and in case you are already here, your first goal should be to go behind the wheels. Take it as a challenge and drive everyday. It is really fun to drive a comfortable car and you feel so independent. In fact. don't sit on passengers seat while you husband drives you to grocery shop, in-spite drive on your own, fill your cars gas on your own.

4. Join Meetup or create your own Meetup group:

As a big initiative of my H4 Visa life, I started hosting a Meetup group. For those of you who are not aware, meetup.com is a website that holds group of people with same hobbies, localities, nationalities and more. I would emphasize you to not only join this website but become very regular to meetups. This way, you will soon make friends around to expand your world!

5. Don't feel shy to text:

It is very important for you to give up any egos and start communicating with people whom you know. To start with, just text you spouses colleagues once in a while or that person you met on a meetup group. Soon you will know whom you can go around with for last minute activities!

6. Invoke the Entrepreneur inside you: 

By this I am not asking you to start a business but to invoke the qualities which don't depend on anything. Like wake up every morning although you know you don't have to go to work. Work towards your passion each day. If you are into book writing, blogging or videos, don't work from home, instead step out to a coffee shop and write from there. Many of us are highly educated, I know some ladies on H4 Visa who did PhD in past. So, I highly recommend such people to write a book which you can publish once you get Green Card,

7. Learn to smart cook: 

Cooking is good but don't let it come in between your comfortability. Coming from India, we are used to eating home cooked meal all the times and we cook three times in a day or even more. Although, eating home cooked meal is good, but your shouldn't get stuck in that life where you are only cooking all day. May be you can use apart of leftover dinner as your brunch/lunch or keep frozen chopped onions/tomatoes/purees etc. Just make sure that you have time for yourself!

Although there are many things I can talk about here, I will keep them for my upcoming blogs and speak in detail. I highly recommend you all to become or try to be more extrovert and outgoing to live a better life on H4 Visa. Don't say NO if a friend invites you to a gathering. I know most of you are free still you make excuses about it which I don't understand why! Even if you have to drive 20 miles or even if that person is new or you haven't met her/him, give it a shot and learn to say YES to things in life :)

Passion Adds Meaning to your Life

Welcome back to my blog H4 folks. I hope you don't mind me calling you that way as some of my friend find H4 word daunting and I completely understand why! It's not really because we can't work in the USA but because of all these depressing blogs about this visa. I write about H4 Visa as well but, with an exception. I have learnt to live a life of joy on this visa and I feel happy to share how you can do the same!

     

This is just my 2nd blog and when I told my husband that I write blogs on H4 Visa topic, he asked me to find out some better topic that would be related to fashion, health, beauty, travel, in short to happiness. That was when I had strengthened my idea of blogging about H4 Visa. Everybody, including my husband thinks it is a sad topic to talk about! And I don't blame him as he has seen me depressed in past because of same mentality that I can't work on H4 Visa so my life is so screwed up!

Human's Mentality - We always want what we don't have

It is a basic human mentality that we crave for things that we don't have and do not appreciate what we do have. For example, I know that I cannot work in the US inspite of being qualified enough so every night I would dream of working and earning in this country, I get so obsessed with the thought that I keep trying several things and put myself into a negative bubble.

Now, what if I pay less attention to what I cannot do and more to what I can. I always wanted to learn a western dance form, dancing gives me joy and I could never do it while busy at work back in India. I always blamed my work timings that I have no time for my hobbies or passion. What if I start and end my day thinking about beautiful things in my life. I live in a beautiful city - San Francisco, my husband loves me so much, I have caring friends around, and so much else. Does all of this matter more than what I don't have or what I cannot do? When I try to balance what I have in one hand with what I don't in another, I feel happy with the results.

Now, don't start comparing your life with mine as it is just an example and comparing is the worst habit that we learn! Every person is different and they have different joys or problems in life. 

A smart person is not the one who works hard to get things in life but the one who is satisfied with what he/she already has.

Find Joy in Passion

The worst thing we can do to ourselves on H4 Visa is to disconnect ourselves with possibilities and people. Here I am talking about exciting possibilities like specializing in a dance form, learning to sing, expertise in baking/cooking, learn to paint/sketch etc. Every person in this world has a passion. It could be passion for cars, for gardening, for blogging and so many other things. How to explore your passion? Just think of something that gives you immense joy, something doing which you never gets tired and that you always dream of learning or expertise in. This passion will not only make you happy but could also result in money one day! Although I don't suggest possessing a passion because of money. If you are still confused, here are some fun ideas that might be your undiscovered passion:

1. Learning a dance form like Hip Hop(USA is best place to learn it!)

2. Baking healthy and delicious cakes/cupcakes/wedding cakes etc

3. Learn to cook - I have seen many ladies who started their YouTube channel/Website on this visa and it worked well!

4. Reading - You have so many public libraries in the US

5. Gardening - You can Volunteer at places if you don't have your own backyard

6. Learn to sing!

7. Fitness - Yoga, Kickboxing, Rock Climbing, boxing so much is there.

8. Arts - Learn to paint or sketch your thoughts 

9. Travelling - Here by travelling I mean anything outdoor like travel to a coffee shop, to a trail, beach, just keep exploring places around where you live! You will soon know of places where you can go everyday and feel happy.

10. Write a book.

These are only a few suggestions and remember that I am talking about passion here and 

not a hobby! 

So what's the next step once you know your passion?

Knowing your passion won't be just enough. You have to set goals, go out to work on it everyday, talk about it with people(especially when they ask do you work?!). Anybody will be impressed to know your knowledge on your passion! Also, post videos about it, write blogs. Doing this, you will be able to keep a record of your progress towards your own passion and watching those videos(or reading your own blogs) you will know how much you enjoyed it.

What do you do?

Have you heard this question in parties, outdoor meetings or when you meet your spouse's colleagues? I am sure you have. Well you don't have to say you can't/don't do anything. Answer to this question is not always if you earn/how much you earn but you can talk about you passion and you will be able to do that only when you work towards one. When someone ask's me what I do, I tell them I am learning Hip Hop, blog about positive options in H4 Visa(spouse defendant visa for US migrants), organize meetups for DesiGirls in San Francisco, do Bikrams yoga and am planning towards my Digital marketing company in India. People feel great to hear all this and I feel good about it as none of them is a lie! So, it's a motivation that I get from people's response when they say that they only dream of learning Hip Hop or that I utilize my time very well. 

We live in an era where you have so many possibilities, just don't block you mind and yeah stop reading bad news about H4 Visa lives instead focus on your passion! I would like to now end here with a thought that some of you will start working towards you passion after reading my blog :)

   

Happiness Lies in the Minds of Beholder

This beautiful morning, I feel proud to start this blog and change your thinking towards H4 Visa in the United States of America. The reason why I am starting to blog is because there is nothing online that can help us motivate(I am on H4 Visa too). The more I research online about positive things that I can do while on this Visa, more I get disappointed as people call it a curse, are themselves disappointed and write that there is no hope. Also, after reading about people who couldn't work in the States for 10-15 years even after being highly qualified(some of them are in IT industry) it washes away any motivation or hope that we might have had. I recently completed a year in this nation and was surrounded by all kind and loving American friends(my husbands colleagues) until I decided to make some of my own friends who live around. That was when I came across some of the Desi Girls who were on same Visa, meeting them I felt I did a great job and am highly motivated. Most of these girls lived at home cooking all day until on weekends when they go out with husbands. That was when I started to think about sharing my experiences and how I stopped giving a F* about what Visa I am on and focusing more on things I can do. Things to either support several causes who fight for H4 Visa right or give more time to my passion which I could never do while busy at work(I am passionate about every dance form :)).

About Me

I was born and raised in one of the best cities of India(Mumbai). Since the time I remember, I have been know to do things differently, some people love it some hate it. I graduated in Information Technology and completed MBA in Marketing. After that I worked with a well known company in India for 2 years in the field of Online Marketing and was loving my job. I was extremely independent and I loved what I did. I never ever thought someday I might have to give up on my career as I knew I wont! 

           One fine day, I got married to the love of my life and was sure this will only bring good fortune to me. My husband was on H1-B or work Visa in the USA and I came to know I will be on H4 and cannot officially work there. But, things were going on so fast in my life that I din't even do enough research about my Visa as I had to plan my wedding event, resigned from my job just a month before the wedding day, was researching about how to get the US Visa and other concerns. Also, my husband who is way too optimistic, thought companies will sponsor me as I am qualified enough. He told me several times that there are ways and I felt positive! 

Big Shock of my Life

Neither me nor my husband knew that companies just don't hire folks on H4 Visa as its a difficult process so we gave it our all. I created my solid LinkedIn profile, a cover letter on video and presentation formats and worked hard on rebuilding my resume. All of this paid off and I got many calls from some of my dream companies but unfortunately, they were not ready to sponsor me! After 30-40 interviews(some face to face) I realized the situation and yes like everybody else I was depressed too. 

If Ignorance is a Bliss, Acceptance is a Boon

Most of us have had difficulty in accepting that we can't work on the US soil that is why we keep trying ways or reading useless blogs that only ends up in disappointments. Instead what I have learnt is to focus on what I can do here. It's not that I am against all of these blogs as some of them provide really good information but I would rather stop reading them once I am aware of the situation otherwise it only builds more negativity inside you. Now, you must be thinking what can I do here if I don't earn? Well if you have sacrificed your work life and have left your country for your spouse, it is their responsibility to support you financially for whatever you want to do in the US. Whether it is studies, fitness or a hobby that you love the most, don't feel shy or bad about asking your spouse to sponsor you, its your right to use what your spouse earns. Obviously not every person makes a higher six figure income so you also have to be fair enough to well spend that money. You can also act as your spouse's accountant and decide how much you can spend in a month. It is a great idea to keep a budget for your own activities, that way you have commitments.

There are several campaigns going on that fight for H4 Visa right and I participate in them very actively on Twitter, Facebook or other websites. One of the best campaigns are run by Rashi Bhatnagar, you can find her on twitter - https://twitter.com/h4visaacurse or on Facebook here facebook.com/H4visaacurse. I feel she is doing a great job and I post tweets on this topic everyday as well with #H4EADRULE and some other important hash tags(your tweets or Facebook posts are useless without right hash tags). But, in my blogs, I will be more focusing on several opportunities that we have on this Visa and how you can either end up in a depression here or rise up as a start. Choice is yours :) I will soon write exciting things that can be done and how you can live a happy life in the US while you are on H4 Visa. I hope my blogs will help some of the depressed folks out there and if I can help them cheer up with my blog, my work will be paid off. 

Keep waiting for my next blog of enlightenment of H4 Visa and until then, create a real twitter account and speak out your heart on Twitter. I am sure you will be heard if you speak it loud enough!